


I'm Here For You (Always)

by Say_that



Series: HQ!! For the Soul [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Confessions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Oikawa hurts a lot, Pining, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:50:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5579119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Say_that/pseuds/Say_that
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For as long as he can remember, Iwaizumi has been a constant at Oikawa's side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Here For You (Always)

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhhhh I hope you guys like this, and I'm very sorry if it makes anyone sad. 
> 
> Comment and kudos always appreciated.
> 
> Went through the entire thing and edited it, but please don't be afraid to point out any mistakes I made.

For his entire life, Oikawa Tooru has had Iwaizumi by his side.

But ever since their second year of middle school, that hasn't been enough. Ever since then, he's been in love with him.

It started out small, just a little crush. He would smile just a little more around him, try to be just a little kinder, to listen a little better. He was satisfied with what he had, and he didn't need anything else.

Until he did.

In their first year of high school he starts dating girls. He thinks that they're pretty in the same way that he thinks men are pretty, or that anyone, really, is pretty. He tells Iwaizumi this soon after he breaks up with his third girlfriend, right after practice had ended, and Iwaizumi had just blinked at him as said "okay". So Oikawa had gone over to his house, intent on staying with his best friend until he was forced to leave. Iwaizumi asks him, "Are you just going to sit around, or are you going to at least call Auntie to tell her you're staying over?" He means Oikawa's mother, who Oikawa knows for a fact that Iwaizumi has mistakenly called 'oka-san' at least ten times in half as many years. So Oikawa smiles and pulls out his phone, jokingly saying "But Iwa-chan, you already know that I'm staying over. And you're my mom aren't you?" before running into the hallway and dialing the number for his house to avoid the glare he had been fixed with. 

He hears Iwaizumi leave his room to listen as Oikawa tells his mother that he's at Iwaizumi's and will be spending the night, promising to not be mean to Iwaizumi and to help his parents around the house. After he's said that he loves her and has hung up he turns around to look at Iwaizumi. "Auntie wasn't even surprised, was she?" he asks, and though it's technically a question it feel like a statement. Oikawa nods, a small smile briefly crossing his lips. "She said that I've pretty much spent half my life with you, so she trusts you to keep me out of trouble," he replies, feeling his chest warm as Iwaizumi laughs, soft and low.

"Well we're basically family, so it makes sense," Iwaizumi chuckles before heading past Oikawa to go to the kitchen, calling after him to see if Oikawa's hungry. But all Oikawa can do is weakly call out 'no'. His stomach feels like it's in his throat and his hands are shaking at his sides.

All he can hear in his mind is Iwaizumi saying "basically family" over and over again in his head.

He feels like puking.

\----

It goes on like that for half a year, Oikawa trying to push his feelings down, dating girls, a few boys, hoping that if he finds them attractive enough he'll be able to forget about his love for Iwaizumi, because it's not just a crush anymore.

It never really works, and when the relationships end he always ends up in the same spot, wrapped up in Iwaizumi's arms as he cries against his shoulder. He wishes that he could cry over the lose of a partner, but his tears are always for the lose of another chance at someone replacing Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi comforts him every time. And when Oikawa wipes away his tears and thanks him, he says the same thing as always; 

"What are best friends for?"

Each time Oikawa feels his stomach clench and leans his forehead against Iwaizumi's shoulder to hide the fresh wave of tears. Because he knows in his heart that 'best friends' is all they'll ever be.

\----

During their second year of highschool Iwaizumi gets a girlfriend. The relationship doesn't last for long, just a month or two, but during Oikawa feels like the worst person in the world. He can see how happy Iwaizumi is with the girl, Fujihiro Tohru class 3B (he doesn't miss the irony of the love of his life dating a girl with the same name as him, but he tries to ignore it), but for all he tries he can't bring himself to be happy for them. When they break up, Oikawa is the one to hold Iwaizumi when he cries. He listens as Iwaizumi tells hims that he's, "not sad that it's over, I just didn't feel the same as her, but God, Oikawa, she cried when I ended it and I feel so _awful_." He sobs after he finished talking, hiding his face in Oikawa's shirt, the curve of his nose pressing to Oikawa's collarbone.

So Oikawa does the only thing he can: he holds him closer and runs his hands slowly over Iwaizumi's back, rubbing small circles on the small of his back and the nape of his neck while whispering to him, "You're not a bad person. You did what was best, I promise. You didn't mean to hurt her, Hajime. I _know_ you, alright? You care too much about people to every willingly hurt someone."

Iwaizumi pulls his face away from Oikawa shoulder at that, looks at him with a painfully open expression of hope and sadness. "How can you be so sure?" he asks, tears sliding down his face. Oikawa lifts a hand and gently wipes them away, letting his thumb linger a second too long on Iwaizumi's cheekbone. "I've known you our entire lives. The only one who knows you better than I do is you." And he smiles at Iwaizumi and pulls him back down to his shoulder, biting his lip as he hears and feels the tears start anew.

But there's something different this time, and he startles slightly when he hears Iwaizumi whisper, "Thank you, Tooru", feels his heart break and get rebuilt in the same instant. He feels a few tears of his own slide down his cheeks.

"I'll always be here for you, Hajime. Always," he promises.

And he means it.

\----

That same week, or rather during the weekend, he cancels his plans to spend Saturday afternoon at Iwaizumi's house, saying that he had to write a paper, but he'll be over to watch movies and spend the night as soon as he was done. Iwaizumi buys the story, which is the important part.

His parents won't be home until late that night, which is why he plans to spend the night with Iwaizumi, but before that he has something he has to do. And it's not a paper. He finished that when it was assigned a week before, because he doesn't like to procrastinate on papers.

So instead of schoolwork, he spends an hour looking things up on the Internet, thanking whoever invented incognito tabs because he doesn't want anyone to know that he looked up how to have satisfying anal sex. Not even Iwaizumi.

Especially not Iwaizumi.

He figures that one should probably be physically clean first, and he's curious, so he searches how to do that too. He promises himself that he's not going to do anything with this information.

He breaks that promise five minutes later when he closes the tabs he had been reading from and goes to the bathroom, placing his phone on the counter as he waits for the mineral water he grabbed from his fridge to heat up while he strips.

He follows the steps the article had listed after the water gets to room temperature and it's the most awkward thing he has ever done in his life. Thankfully no one else in his house drinks mineral water, so they won't ask where five out of seven bottles went. After he's done cleaning himself he gets in to shower to actually _clean_ himself. He starts with his hair, as always, uses his face wash while his conditioner sits in his hair for five minutes, then washes the rest of his body. And when he's washing the soap off his arms he can't help but think of Iwaizumi's instead. What the muscles would feel like when they shift under his skin, how they would flex if he picked Oikawa up, held him against a wall.

Oikawa drops a hand to his cock, feeling how he's already starting to get hard, and leans against the shower wall, dragging his thumb across the head as he imagines Iwaizumi's tongue on his neck, teeth biting his collarbone, and he presses the blunt, short nail of his thumb against his slit as he tugs on his cock, hissing at the feeling. He digs the nails of his left hand into his thigh, moaning as he imagines Iwaizumi whispering 'Tooru' against his skin. He speeds up his hand, biting his lip, trying to think of his hand as Iwaizumis instead, trying to imagine the weight of his best friend, his love, his _everything_ , behind him instead of the cold wall of the shower. He lets his left hand drifts lower, gasps as the tips of his fingers catch on his rim, and careful pushes in one finger. It's a strange feeling, but as he slowly thrusts it in time with the hand on his cock it starts to feel better, and he pushes another finger in, spreads them apart, gasping. He keeps doing that, finger fucking himself as he jacks off, twisting his fingers and wishing they were a little thicker, wishing that he had someone behind him, whispering encouragement, whispering love. So he whimpers, moves his hands faster, and just as he's calling out a strangled "Hajime", his fingers bump something inside of him.

It feels so good that it hurts, and before he really knows what's happening his knees are buckling and he's coming, staining his stomach and fist with his cum as his thighs shake and he silently screams.

He slowly pulls his fingers out, wincing at the uncomfortable feeling, and washes his hands off in the stream of now lukewarm water as he waits for his legs to stop shaking. When he can stand again he cleans off his stomach and gets rid of the rest of the soap on his body and quickly turns off the water, getting out of the shower and drying himself off and then wrapping the towel around his legs. He sprays an oil treatment into his hair and then carefully blow dries it, using a brush to help style it, and then uses a small out of gel to make the waves he carefully shaped stay in place. Once Oikawa's back in his room he grabs an old t-shirt and pulls it on, then grabs the comfiest boxer briefs he owns, sliding those on before pulling on jeans. He packs his computer, phone charger, hair gel, and a change of underwear in a bag, putting his phone in his pocket and then switching his contacts for glasses. He doesn't feel like taking those out later in the night. Too much of a hassle. After he makes sure that everything's turned off and that he's got what he needs he slips on a pair of shoes and leaves, locking the door behind him.

It doesn't take long to walk to Iwaizumi's house, maybe five minutes, but in those five minutes Oikawa manages to go through every possible scenario he can think of that could happen when he gets there. Iwaizumi might be busy and have changed his mind, he might somehow know what Oikawa did and hate him, he might guess what Oikawa did and hate him, he might not know and still hate him, or maybe everything will be fine.

For some reason, the last seems the most unlikely.

When he finishes the five minute walk and is standing in front of Iwaizumi's door, Oikawa feels about as brave as a mouse looking into the eyes of a house cat, and is about the turn around and leave when the front door opens and Iwaizumi looks out at him. They stare at each other for a moment, and Oikawa can feel Iwaizumi breaking down the carefully built walls of his facade before he smiles and holds up a copy of Pacific Rim. "You wanted to rewatch this, didn't you?" he asks, and all Oikawa can do is stare at him for a moment, just long enough to seem a bit off, before he nods and steps inside, a small grin taking its place on his face. Iwaizumi knows nothing, and Oikawa's going to pretend that he didn't just get off to the thought of his best friend being in love with him.

He can keep pretending that he's not in love with his best friend. He doesn't want to risk what they have, and as long as Iwaizumi doesn't suspect anything, it'll be fine.

He hopes it'll be fine.

\----

The summer before their third year, the tear in his meniscus worsens.

He's on crutches for two weeks, pain pills for two months, he's given a stronger brace that he has to wear during the entire day, and he can't do anything with volleyball for a month. When he asks his physical therapist how long he'll need the brace for she bites her lip and sighs through her nose before sitting down in the chair next to him and telling him in soft tones that unless he and his parents decide on getting surgery to repair the tear, he'll be wearing it every day. He tries to hold onto a bit of hope as he rephrases the question, asking for how _long_ he'll have to wear it every day. She looks at her lap where she's squeezing her hands together and tells him that there is no limit to how long he'll have to wear it. That's it not just 'every day for a month or two', it's _every day_.

When he gets home that day he strips, pulls on his comfiest underwear, grabs a t-shirt that's definitely Iwaizumi's, and then carefully pulls the new brace onto his right knee with shaking hands before he pulls on a pair of sleep pants. He takes out his contacts, slides his glasses on, and curls up on his bed. Oikawa opens up his phone, sending a text to Iwaizumi that says 'went to my p.t. today' with nothing else. The response is immediate, a short 'ill be there in five'.

Iwaizumi makes it too his house in four minutes, and is standing in the threshold of his room a minute later. He's got nothing but his phone and is wearing old sweatpants and a t-shirt Oikawa had left at his house a year before during a sleepover. Oikawa looks at him, opens his mouth to say something, anything, but all that comes out is a broken gasp and then Iwaizumi's holding him as he sobs against into his shirt. His glasses press into his nose and cheekbones uncomfortably, but it doesn't matter because he can't properly breathe from how hard he's crying, and Iwaizumi has crawled onto the bed and pulled him as close as physically possible. 

He might be crying too. It hurts Oikawa to think that he made him cry, so he pulls back, hiccuping as he tries to take in air, and focuses on Iwaizumi through his tears, sees the streaks of water running down his best friend's face, and it makes him sob harder. "I-Iwa-chan you shouldn't....you shouldn't cry," he says, stumbling over the words, and Iwaizumi lets out a harsh, short laugh. He runs a hand through Oikawa's hair and pulls his head forward, pressing their foreheads together. "If you're crying, then I'm going to cry with you. I'm here for you, no matter what it is. I'll _always_ be here for you. I promise," he whispers. Iwaizumi pulls his head down to his shoulder and Oikawa lets himself relax even as he continues to cry, staying like that for an hour.

Eventually they shift so that they're lying down in the bed, legs tangled together, Oikawa's head resting underneath Iwaizumi's. His knee aches slightly, but the brace is doing its job, so he can ignore it as he gives Iwaizumi the details of what had happened. Iwaizumi squeezes him when he tells him about the brace, his fingers pressing into Oikawa's spine and ribs from where they rest on his back. He looks up at Iwaizumi at that, and he can't really make sense of his expression. It's like a mixture of pain and some sort of stubborn resolution. But then he's looking at Oikawa, looking into his eyes and saying, "Well, I guess you're stuck with me then, because I'm not going to leave you to deal with this by yourself."

Oikawa feels his eyes tear up and he buries his face in Iwaizumi's neck, whispering 'thank you' against the collar of his shirt.

They fall asleep a few hours later, after Oikawa's mother brought food to the room for them to eat, and when Oikawa wakes up in the middle of night he presses a soft kiss to Iwaizumi's cheek and murmurs, "I love you," before falling back alseep.

\----

A month later, when he's finally allowed to participate in more than the stretches and jogging during practice, he has Iwaizumi spot him while he practices jump serves. He fails miserably at the first one, his jump weak even if the power he put into the serve was the same as usual. But with each attempt he gains back his confidence, and by the end of the day it's like he never had to stop. 

He ends up staying later than everyone else, as usual, but this time Iwaizumi's staying with him. They practices spikes until they both need to sit down, and then they practice some more. By the time that they finish cleaning and locking up the gym it's dark, so they walk close together, though Oikawa can't help but think that Iwaizumi seem preoccupied with something. So when he stops next to a street lamp, Oikawa isn't surprised. He just follows Iwaizumi's example and stops, turning to look at his friend.

"Iwa-chan, are you alright? You've been pretty quiet since we left the gym. Oh! I know, you switched your brain with a volleyball, since it won't effect how smart you are!" he jokes, smiling and getting ready to back away quickly in case Iwaizumi gets mad. But he just looks at Oikawa and bites his lip, gaze slipping to the ground for a moment.

"Oikawa, I...I need to tell you something," he starts, and Oikawa feels his face drop. He closes his mouth, his lips going to a thin line as he presses them together, and nods. "What is it?" he asks quietly, clenching his hands into fists against his sides.

He can already hear it, can hear Iwaizumi telling him that he knows, that he doesn't feel the same, that he's disgusted, appalled, that he hates him that he--

"I'm in love with you."

Oikawa thinks his heart might have stopped for a moment. Maybe he passed out in the gym and is dreaming this, maybe Iwaizumi hit him in the head with a volleyball and he's hallucinating. But then iwaizumi's grabbing his hands, holding them in his own (gently, carefully, _reverently_ ), and pulling him closer, so that there's only a few inches separating their faces. He watches Iwaizumi take a deep breath, digs his nails into his palm to see if this is a dream but all he gets his the sharp pain of reality and it makes his eyes go wide, his mouth opening slightly. 

"I've been in love with you for a few years honestly. Maybe more. I didn't realize it until you started dating back in first year, and I wanted to be happy for you but all I could be was jealous, and then you told me that you thought everyone was attractive, not just girls, and it gave me hope that maybe you might feel the same. But you never acted differently around me, so I tried to move on, to fall in love with someone else, but it...it didn't work. But a month ago, when we fell asleep together after you're p.t. appointment, I had woken up in the middle of the night around the same time you did and I heard you--"

Oikawa cuts him off, covering Iwaizumi's mouth with his hands. He can feel his face burning up in a deep blush, his breath coming in short pants, and he thinks he might be crying. He wants to say 'I love you' back, wants to tell him how long he's loved him, how much, but all that comes out is, "You sat on that confession for a _month_ , you asshole?!" He realizes, albeit belatedly, that while he's angry that it took Iwaizumi a month of knowing that their feelings were the same to act on it, he's happy.

He's so, so happy. 

Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa's hands off of his mouth and clasps them together, pulling him closer. "Sorry I took so long," he whispers, voice low and smooth, and Oikawa feels his anger melt away. So he leans down and presses their lips together, slow and soft, and shakes his head when they break away, saying, "I shouldn't judge. I wasn't any better."

The walk home goes quickly after that, aside from Oikawa stopping every couple blocks to pull Iwaizumi into another soft kiss, and another until they're literally a block from his house but are too busy pressing each other against walls and shoving their tongues in each other's mouths to actually notice. When they break apart Oikawa laughs, biting his lip and pulling Iwaizumi towards his home. They spill inside, filling the entry with laughter at their own stupidity, calling out quick hellos to Oikawa's parents before they make their way to his room.

Once they're in and Iwaizumi's closed the door they stare at each other, atmosphere suddenly thick with tension before Oikawa's being pushed onto his bed by Iwaizumi. He watches, eyes wide and mouth open as Iwaizumi undresses, slowly taking his clothes off until he's left in nothing but his boxers, and Oikawa can feel his cock twitch at the sight of him.

He scoots back on the bed, making room for Iwaizumi to sit down as he starts to take his own clothes off, trying to not go too slowly even as he attempts to not get tangled in his shirt. It doesn't quite work, and Iwaizumi has to stifle a laugh as he helps him escape the cotton t-shirt he was wearing. "You know, Oikawa, for some reason I thought you would be cool when it came to this stuff. But I guess I was wrong," he teases, leaning back against the headboard of Oikawa's bed while pulling him closer. He teasingly dips his fingers under the waistband of Oikawa's workout pants, tugging at the band of his underwear. "You should take these off, Tooru," he whispers once he's got Oikawa leaning over him, sliding his hands under the boxer briefs that he's got on and squeezing his ass.

Oikawa can't help but gasp, biting his lip as he nods and works his pants and underwear off, leaning on Iwaizumi for balance as he pulls them down his legs, and then helping Iwaizumi get rid of his own boxers. Once they're fully naked Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa down, seating him on his lap, their half-hard cocks brushing together. He's about to ask what Iwaizumi plans on doing when he takes both of their cocks in hand while he pulls Oikawa in for a kiss, pressing his tongue into his mouth and tangling it with Oikawa's.

Each time Iwaizumi drags a slow pull up their cocks he licks across the roof of Oikawa's mouth, bites at his lips till they're red and swollen, or just shares his breath with Oikawa, keeping their lips pressed close while they pant and gasp. With each pull, each kiss, each moan Oikawa can feel himself getting closer, his hips pressing into Iwaizumi's touch as it speeds up. He wants to say something, but all he can think of is how he finally gets to have Iwaizumi the way he wants, finally gets to be with him, to love him. So he pulls back from their kisses, presses their foreheads together and closes his eyes.

"I love you, Hajime," he whispers.

He feels Iwaizumi still his movements, and he worries that he said the wrong thing, so he opens his eyes and pulls away, his mouth dropping open at what he sees.

Iwaizumi's crying. He doesn't look sad, but he's crying and he wraps his free arm around Oikawa, pulling him close and pressing a passionate kiss to his lips, whispering to him, "I love you, too. God I don't think I could love you anymore than I already do, Oikawa. My Oikawa...my _Tooru_."

And now Oikawa's crying too, soft, quiet tears. And Iwaizumi's pumping his hand again, faster than before and Oikawa hiccups as he breathes, hips jumping, and he's wrapping a hand around their erections, helping Iwaizumi. He can feel the precum dripping from their cocks, and he laughs a little because he and Iwaizumi are weeping in both senses of the word. It's an awful joke. So he presses their lips back together, relishing the smooth glide of the mouths against each other, the taste of Iwaizumi as Oikawa licks into his mouth, the way his moans feel as he swallows the sounds, and before he really knows what's happening he's coming, crying out into Iwaizumi's mouth as his cum covers both of their hands. It only take a few more strokes and then Iwaizumi's coming too, his hands shaking and his breath stopping for a long moment.

Once they've calmed down they pull away, glancing first at the mess they've made on their hands and then up at each other.

Oikawa laughs first, bringing his clean hand up to cover his mouth as he snorts, and then Iwaizumi's joining him, loud and unapologetic. They clean up quickly, and Oikawa grabs clothes for them to wear, a mismatch of Oikawa's sleep pants and Iwaizumi's shirts, before they leave his room and venture down to the kitchen, their pinkies hooked together in lieu of actually holding hands.

Oikawa's mother takes one look at them and calls out to her husband, "Dear, you and Asuma owe me and Yuuki-chan ¥5,000 each," referring to Iwaizumi's parents, before she goes back to preparing dinner, winking at the two of them. Oikawa blushes fiercely and Iwaizumi chuckles nervously as they hear Oikawa's father curse from the family room.

"I think our parents were betting on when we'd get together," Iwaizumi whispers to him as they sit down at the dining room table to wait for the food. Oikawa grunts and mumbles, "No shit," as quietly as he can, jumping when his mother calls out, "Tooru! No swearing at the table!"

Iwaizumi laughs at him, but presses a kiss to his cheek when Oikawa pouts.

\----

When Oikawa wakes up the next morning Iwaizumi's spooning him, and the sun's just started to creep past the shades in his window.

For his entire life, Oikawa has had Iwaizumi by his side. But now, he gets to love him the way he wants to.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed, and I'm sorry if this was bad, I wrote the entire thing in like...four hours. Please feel free to tell me about any typos.


End file.
